The eve of New Year.

What a bore, all the crowd. I've had a half day and poor Eddy had to work till 7 pm today. And it's Hari Raya Haji today too so he's really pissed. I'm scared to meet him later cos he'll be tired and down and I'll probably feel sad and tired too. I can't wait to stop working. The initial idea was to resign in February 2007, but due to circumstances at work, I prefer to stay till July. I don't like it one bit, but it really is a better choice to make. Yuckers.

I finally fixed my television onto the wobbly shelf. Took me yonks to shift the plank up one level cos the rust had eaten into the screws and I can't take them out, then I had to screw them stupid screws in again and the best part is that I still can't play the games cos I haven no idea why. You know the 3 plugs or the audio and picture? The red, white, and yellow thingy? Well, it wouldn't fit into television's red, white, red hole. Duh.. so does the yellow plug go into the first red hole or the second red hole? Or does it go into a separate place? Well now there's no sound and no picture on the telly at all, so how to play?!

The tricky shelf and the new telly. Wait till I can play games, I'll never sleep again.

All the bears come tumbling down... Poor thingys.


We went to Tanah Merah last night for a cookout of sorts. I broke my record of wearing a dress and heels down to the sandy beach while bumping like a rubber ball in the truck. But not before attending a houseparty. Here's the little Dino running!

Dino the Chihuawa however you spell it.

Dig the skin contrast man. Tanah Merah at midnight after the mad rush to find a disposable bbq pit.

Lovebirds Alvin and Vivien.


The satay is to DIE for. If only I liked them.


Where's Eddy?


Scene from Diva Gossip Project. The ghostly lights.


Eddy Satan...


The Evil Luvvies.


Jonathantn the corn munching monster.


The Fat Witch.


The horror! I can't take it anymore!


Begone devil! I throw my satay at you!


The corn I was waiting for..

Clifton wore the camouflage windbreaker the whole night. Poor guy was freezing while I was perspiring like crazy.

How to diet like this? So fat fatso...

Are you one to think of food non-stop? When you're hungry and when you're not? When you're awake and when you're not? It's such a chore having such a one track mind. And the amount I eat is astronomical and the worst part is that I suffer a slow metabolic rate and I don't exercise. It gets so out of hand sometimes that I'll walk out to the kitchen at 2 am despite my fear of darkness, just to raid the fridge for something to eat, and it's not fruits, usually rice or something heavily carbohydrat-ed. I realised that I have this compulsive need to keep putting things into my mouth to munch. Um... especially one other thing hahaha! God I'm funny...

You know what? I think this is a sickness and I actually googled it to find out how I can curb this atrotious habit. This is what one website said: "Binge-eating disorder (BED) or compulsive overeating is the lesser-known eating disorder, following anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. It is characterized by eating when one is not hungry or by continual eating without regard to physiological cues. Binge eaters typically eat to the point of feeling extreme discomfort or even pain."

It is also mention two types of binge eating disorders:

* Deprivation-sensitive binge eating arises out of excessive dieting or food restriction; (very very me)

* Addictive or dissociative binge eating is the practice of self-medicating or self-soothing with behaviors that typically evoke feelings of emotional tranquility or numbness. (not so me)

"It is important to understand that not all people with binge-eating disorder are overweight, that not all overeaters are binge eaters, and that being overweight, even to the point of obesity, does not qualify a person as a binge eater."

So do I qualify to be a binge eater?
"It is significant to note that not all binges include large quantities of food. For an anorexic person, eating five grapes may be considered a binge. Remember what characterizes an eating disordered binge is the element of compulsion behind the eating behavior and the emotional outcome that occurs as a result of the eating behavior."

Here's how they describe binge eaters experience which is uncanniy similar to mine:
"Binge eaters report a total preoccupation with food. One of the problems that frequently occur with binge eaters is nighttime eating. Patients describe getting out of bed in the wee hours and walking in their sleep or in a trance-like state into the kitchen where the bingeing happens. Binge eaters sometimes do not know if their binge was a dream or a reality until the next morning when evidence of food wrappers and empty containers will appear in the kitchen (OMG! that's me). Bingers often do their eating in secret, and typically feel most vulnerable to succumbing to these behaviors when they are alone."

It is also reported that the psychological effect it has on patients suffering from this will affect the brain and leave them highly fatigued. No wonder I always feel tired. I'm battling in a losing war!

Some behavioral remedies for binge eating disorder

Along with psychotherapy, behavioral techniques that allow the individual to avoid temptations are generally effective. Behavioral techniques might include such changes as,

* If bingeing occurs in the car, taking a different route home where the patient will not be confronted with the temptation of fast food restaurant chains.

* Keeping a small cooler in one's car containing one's own nutritionally dense food, prepared and pre-packaged.

* Bringing a passenger along for the ride.

* Wearing an elastic band on one's wrist and snapping it hard to remind oneself not to begin the out of control bingeing process when the urges and temptations present themselves.

* A solution for home bingers might be not to bring unhealthy snack or trigger foods home, though for those who live with family members who like their snacks, eliminating snack foods from the pantry is an idea that is typically does not go over well. This may need to become a family decision made in the context of consensus, compromise, and an action plan.

Binge eaters who have a genetic propensity tendency towards addiction often report a craving and sensitivity to carbohydrates, so that the more they eat, the more they crave. There are some who claim that eliminating sugar from the diet can be an integral part of reducing binge eating episodes. This is a concept that is espoused by the Overeaters Anonymous 12 Step groups and is a treatment method that is very helpful for a great number of binge eaters. The problem that some people run into in using this alternative for healing is that restriction generally breeds greater obsessiveness and compulsions.

Food and parties and presents

To fully enjoy my festive mood, I've unintentionally planned a string of dinners and parties to attend. And guess what? They all involve lots of food....

20th December 2006
First of, I've got a wedding dinner to attend on the 20th of December 2006. My ex-Versace collegue, Arey. I sat at the Muslim table for the first time. Instead of the varities of Chinese food, I was having a different course altogether. They were mostly Malay dishes like baby fried squid, spring rolls for cold dish and 'soto' instead of sharksfin. Rendang, sambal chicken and rice were served as well.

Arey's wedding. She looks beautiful. Stunning.

22nd December 2006
I met up with the girls from school for a pre Christmas dinner at someplace near Rogue. I had the best steak and pizza and apple crumble. Those were all mine.

Zann and I waiting for our second round of food. Scary how we pile it all in. Actually, just look at my size hahaha!

23rd December 2006
Eddy's Land Rover friends, Helen and Thomas, were breaking in their new BBQ pit and we were invited for the opening ceremony. Helen's bacon macroni was to die for.. and the secret recipe of her husband, Thomas's potato salad can kill you. And not to mention my absolute favourite, STEAK and hamburgers and my not so fav prawns. Tell me I haven't put on weight. I'll kill myself now... BBQ food is always the best, you can burn them all you want, and it doesn't matter how uncooked your steak is cos you're eating it anways!

At the outdoor verandah. It's too dark you can't really see much but the ambience was so good. With all the rain, the weather was so cool.

So this is why Ben and Jerry's Phish Food is named as so.


Helen and Thomas, our hosts, if you can make them out. She's going to have a baby soon, so all the best babe!




24th December 2006

This is what Liz gave me for Chiristmas! It's the little birdy in the middle looking at the camera! The present exchange was great, we all recieved such awesome presents. I got fooled by them girls at the shop when Razia took out a company present and urged me to open it. I did so excitedly and I found.... 2 packets of Hello Panda biscuits.... I went, 'Hello Panda???' The company gift must have hit the all time low man. I must've sounded really disappointed cos they all screamed with laughter. I should have recorded my face. Apparently, I've been hoodwinked. No wonder Joanne and Razia were so eager for me to go down on my off day. To see my reaction. Check out what the girls got!

Liz said: " Kitty for Razia cos she's very manja manja (pampered?), Birdy for me cos I love birds and a chameleon for Mimi cos she's a chicak kobeng (I spell anyhow), meaning she's a lizard." It was hilarious!

Miss Lizard, Mimi...

Razia the kitty and her little bear also from Liz

Liz and her comfortable comforter from Mimi, looking absolutely blissed out!

Remember what I mentioned before about taking pictures with prettier girls? DON'T! Just end up looking like bleah...

At night, it's on to my place for dinner! We have it every Christmas eve even though we're not Christians. It's just an excuse to get together and eat and scream with family and friends!

My little niece can't wait to open her present. The only pink one I wrapped specially for her. My favourite cousin Moo Peck (in pink and glasses) looks on urging her to question me about her presents instead of opening them.

Her brother Jyh Hean starting dinner first even though the main dishes haven't arrived! Dig the look of concentration!

Eating but still wanting to take a picture. Can la. Do both.

Cousin Kenny and gorgeous girlfriend

Fguly me with my presents from my other favourite cousins, sisters Jamie and Cheryl.


This is Jamie. The ribbon was there when the picture was taken, it disappeared shortly after.


Cheryl all grown up already. I wish I was 19 too.


Present finally opened, my niece proudly shows off her pink pink pink little gifts!


Looking at the birds? Count 'em!

Dad with Razia's son Ashil, shoing how Jacky the Quaker can say 'Keep quiet ok?'


Attempting the whistle song while Ashil looks on expectantly.


Hannah my cousin


Food man, glorious food! There's more hidden inside the kitchen!


The only nice picture of me with my cousin and Yenling and it had to be a blurred one! Shit-o!


Oh here's another. But not nice.


Jamie and best friend and our ex-Versace collegue, Yenling.


Nobody's looking! Quick dip your fingers in and lick it!

The staff of Versace and ex staff :D

Tomorrow is Christmas and I'm having a fine day. No food. Let's do a check to see what I recieved this year!

• Eddy - LCD TV (wowza)
• Razia -black sexy corset (which I chose)
• Liz - Body Shop soap, a sweet parrot pen and girl teddy bear (parroty pen!)
  
• Mimi - Ikea assortment holder
• Jamie - BOOK!!!!! I love books!
• Cheryl- Belgian chocolates. (think FAT)
• Rachel- nail polish and photo frame
• Jamie's boyf- chocolates! (yikes!)
• Ning - pink pack of cards (sweet!)
• Mabes- candie (which I ATE THAT NIGHT!)
• Nat - Lipstick! (i love the colour)
• when I remember I'll write in
  

So you tell me lah. All the food, not to mention all those that customers gave, all the log cakes and fruit cakes and chocolates, who won't get fat? Oh I have another wedding on the 26th... Eddy's friend's. Hydroxycut please.

Wrapping Madness. Will Die, Sure Die...

If you have not done your wrapping by your lonesome self, then I'll say "shame on you!" One should suffer the migraines and vomiting sensations of wrapping and tying ribbons before the full satisfaction of giving. After that, watching your beautiful-and-i-nearly-vomited-wrapping presents being torn to shreds (which is the right way to open presents) should give you even more satisfaction.

The Nightmare Before Christmas...

Merry Christmas to YOUSE! Here's one for the road! And another and another!

Happy Feet!



My kind of jingle



Invaders of my room!

Nightmare number one:

Christmas is all about giving... and recieving and recieving. I just about found everything for the girls but I haven't got any for the guys.. I'm stuck with a ten-year-old and a twelve-year-old nephew, a few friends boyfriends who will be coming over to my house as well on Christmas Eve, an overseas gossip pal and possibly a few male ex-classmates.

Actually, it was pretty easy for the girls cos I managed to get all the presents from the same place. I guess I'll have to stick with dull old chocolates for the other sex. It isn't that hard getting stuff for boyfriends cos they tend to let out the 'whoa, I feel like getting the (subject)', you just have to catch it.


Can you see the brand label? Who cares, they'll see it soon enough hahahaha!



It's those who you don't see often or you don't see at all that hits the tight spot. I knew I had to post something to Chris before the 10th, so that it reaches his place more or less around Christmas. Sorry man, you're going to get it real late. Oh well... for the rest? haiyah.. chocolates... Or maybe.....


Nightmare number two:

It just came to me, while I was putting everything into nice little boxes last night, I found my jar of uncooked alphabet pasta in massed-stucked-together-and-deformed powder form and looking f**king gross, kinda like it's been chewed on by ants or cockroaches, and when I poured it out, the underneath was a deserted catacomb!!!! Complete with the tiny damned pupa shells. F**K F**K F**K ! Let me tell you... my skin... it started to crawl like ONE KIND and no matter how hard I smashed the jar down, the bloody catacomb wouldn't come out ......it wouldn't come out........... After that, I licked it.

Of bloody course not!!!! @#%@#$*&^

I had a nightmare about it and I just wanted to get it out of my system, I had been thinking of smelling it though (haha, that got you right?) but on a serious note, there was no way I was going to get into contact with it. I cleared out my drawer at 3a.m. . It had to be ants right? I hope so.... if it were cockroaches ... I need to vomit.

Now I know where those bastards come from, I'll exterminate all of them. But it seems that they've migrated somewhere else. Shit, I hate ants. I hate catacombs. I hate invaders.


Nightmare number three:

Sigh, blond hair doesn't make me any smarter, or in this case, clearer on what to get for Christmas presents, broke as hell too... These festive seasons cost a bomb. By the way, the wire in my finger? Well, it's out. Now I can bend it like Beckham, I just have to refrain from doing any stunts for the time being. Hahaha! There wasn't any injection for the pain and the night before, I was so afraid of them cutting my skin to get it out, I took the liberty of doing them doctors a favour by digging the skin so that the wire stuck out. All they had to do was to take a plier and pull it out.. and they were right, it didn't hurt one bit.

Here's a look from the 19th of October to the 14th of December:

• 19th December 2006 10:30a.m. ... just being wheeled into the hospital . What a blast! I was hoping for a long rest and I told Chris the night before that I wanted a broken leg like him, so I didn't have to work. I kinda got my 'break'. Yon little finger. I felt guilty after this, I wondered if my accident had soemthing to do with my reluctance to work.. I couldn't sleep for days. This was taken in the hospital and I didn't want to post the bloody split bone ones.
  

• This was me at home more than 12 hrs later, being kept at the hospital for so bloody long. I couldn't wash my left hand and it drove me nuts. I have this compulsive obsession about my hands and I need to wash them after I touch anything. But I can eat off the floor though. Weird. I got what I wanted... a 16 day medical leave (though I had to go back for 3 days in between)
  

• Somewhere in November. Almost healing.....stitches out except for the angry scars on the ring finger, it's almost perfect.
  

• 14th December 2006. Dig the teeny wire, no wonder I couldn't bend my finger. My legs felt like jelly when the time came to pull it out. However, I was told that the bone isn't actually joined yet. In fact, when I saw the x-ray, it didn't seem to have come close to joining. Thank you nice doctors at Tan Tock Seng.
  

• Well again. Bendable. Nails growing. No bike. Check out the clot on the ring fingernail.